< If the entire ocean becomes a hurricane, will they notice? / >

Fay: The first tropical storm system in history to bash the same state four separate times.

Gustav: Knocks Haiti and Jamaica senseless, but the levees in New Orleans hold, and that's really all that counts.

Hanna: Currently battering the Bahamas and preparing to head up to the U.S., perhaps the Carolinas.

Ike: Forming 1,400 miles behind Hanna and heading for the Bahamas for a second round.

Hurricane to be named with a J: Freshly begun off the coast of Africa and following Ike.

That's five in a row — surely nothing to be alarmed about. The most pressing issue in the United States is still not climate change, but the precious life growing inside the tummy of Governor Sarah Palin's daughter, because all life is precious, unless it belongs to seven billion annoying people demanding that their children be allowed to experience it, too.